Table of Contents
- How is at odds?
- Who would you recommend this work?
- So, Would this be relevant to Tamil People?
- What are my own thoughts on this work?
- I don’t have much time, but what is the meat of this work?
- What are the things, that I see lacking in this work?
Introduction
Contrary to most readers, I write with an atypical view.
I grew up in Tamil Nadu, India.
Often, I compare Tamil Nadu and West, seeking evidences to come up with insights, conclusions.
My narrative of Marriage comes from Tamil Nadu, India which is at odds with Western World.
1.How is at odds?
From One of the many points,
Marriage is a display of family honor [Tamil-Nadu] Marriage is a personal choice or private matter [West]
Therefore, I took a journey to discover differences.
2. Who would you recommend this work?
Mostly to casual readers, anyone who want to know mainstream culture of America.
Does not apply to non-Western Culture,
Majority of World’s population.
3. So, Would this be relevant to Tamil People?
No
4. What are my own thoughts on this work?
Before you read this work, ask the following questions
{Western Culture:} 1. What is the goal of your life? 2. How would you define success? 3. What does a meaningful life look for you?
{Tamil Culture:} 1. What is the goal of your family? 2. How does your family define success? 3. How does a meaningful life look for your family?
While back, a Stanford B.S in Computer Science Educated CEO from Bangalore, said, his goal in life is to optimize everything, tweak his entire life for maximum output = Money
{Would you agree with him?}
For him, marriage is a way to optimize his life, like an algorithm.
So, I’d label his view of marriage as, “Business theory of Performance based Marriage” devoid of meta-narratives.
Growing up in Tirunelveli, Tamil Nadu, India;
The narrative of Marriage choice depended on
- caste
- religion
- socio-economic background
Tamil Nadu’s Institution of marriage is forged by customs, traditions & religion, safe-guarded by older generation. Within Tamil Marriages - Personal choice is part of family’s broader decision in marriage.
Post-marriage in Tamil Nadu is “adjust pani vaalanum” , [Tamil] adjust with each other, live life. [English]
5. I don’t have much time, but what is the meat of this work?
Well, turn to page 162 in this work.
He says,
“At its core, the all-or-nothing theory of marriage is a supply-and-demand model:
Are, two of us investing enough resources—and the right kinds of resources —to meet the needs we’re seeking to fulfill through the marriage?
This analysis offers three types of strategies for improving marriage.
We can,
try to get more mileage out of our available resources,
invest additional resources in pursuit of large rewards at the summit,
or (3) recalibrate expectations to stave off disappointment.
The first two of these strategies focus on the supply side (either by enhancing efficiency or increasing investment),
whereas the third focuses on the demand side (by descending Mount Maslow or otherwise asking less of the marriage).”
{My thoughts: Good luck in applying marriage as an optimization problem}
6. What are the things, that I see lacking in this work?
The Author missed a core crucial important assumption, “Worldview”
The Author before fleshing out his research, experiments, data points, might wanted to have written his, “First-Principles”
The Author, albeit not fleshing out his Worldview;
–I as a reader, would infer his data, experiments and work fitting into Worldview called, “Business theory of Performance based Marriage”
The Author’s goal of marriage is success, defined subjectively.
This book is incomplete, because it does not including religious traditions.
Anyone who has read history, could bring up points saying, it has shaped marriage.